dancing in the dark
[ chapter 6 ]

After supper at McDonalds, they set out for home. Taylor and Morgan didn’t say much, and occupied time by gazing out at the fluorescent billboards and signs along the road side. They both felt rather uncomfortable around each other, and for obvious, though esoteric reasons. Morgan knew she and Taylor weren’t involved, but somehow after hearing he had a girlfriend made her feel jealous and very alone, and at the same time made Taylor feel like he had betrayed her somehow. After awhile Walker and Diana seemed to sense their quieted moods.

“You two are awfully quiet back there,” Walker gazed at them in the rear view mirror.

“Oh, I’m just kind of tired,” Morgan lied.

“Its been a long day,” Taylor added.

Walker smiled and continued driving, and another hour later at 7pm they were finally home. “If you guys are hungry, find something in the fridge, ok? I’m going to feed Zoe and I am sure everyone else has already eaten.” Diana said before they got out of the car.

“Okay,” Taylor said. “Thanks mom,” he added as they got out of the car. Taylor and Morgan gradually followed them into the house.

“Do you want to talk?” Taylor asked as he led her throughout the house and up to the room he shared with Zac, who was bunking in Isaac’s room.

“I don’t mind,” Morgan replied and crawled up to the top bunk, and began to search her heart for why she felt a twinge of jealousy when he heard that Aubrey was Taylor’s girlfriend. She hadn’t thought it up until now, but maybe she wanted to be Taylor’s girl.

“Alright,” Taylor wandered over to his large walk in closet and picked up one of the few guitars that was perched against the wall, and held it, ready to play.

Morgan lied on the bed vertically rather than horizontally and let her legs dangle off the bed. She gazed at his ceiling and searched for constellations made from glow-in-the-dark stars, and smiled when she found Orion right above her head. She didn’t notice Taylor until heard the strumming of a guitar, which made her sit quickly up. She looked over as he climbed up the ladder and sat to her left. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“Remember how I told you a couple months ago how Ike was teaching me how to play the guitar? Well...” he smiled and strummed.

“Can you play anything yet?” Morgan asked?” Taylor nodded as his gaze stayed fixed to his fingers gently strumming a simple chord structure. “Play something for me.” Morgan leaned against the wall and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

Taylor remained silent, but a faint smile appeared across his lips as he began strumming away at the guitar, hesitantly and unsure at first since his forte was the piano, but gradually more powerful as he created a surreal ballad. When he began to sing, softly at first, Morgan was taken aback. She gradual straightened her back and listened to the lyrics as they flowed from his mouth like water down a river; beautiful and pure. It had been so long since she had heard him sing in person that she was surprised at how wonderfully he sounded, and took her a few minutes to get over the initial impact before she began listening to the lyrics.

As he sang Morgan realized that the lyrics described her and Taylor, and he was singing a song for her, about her. No one had ever made her feel so overwhelmed with appreciation and happiness, and she was saddened when it was over, and she began to feel guilty of how she had ignored him earlier. When he was through, Taylor lied the guitar atop his lap, and looked up to Morgan’s awaiting eyes.

“Oh my God...Taylor...” Morgan said, and matched his gaze.

“Geez Morgan, don’t cry,” he laughed, trying to ease the tension.

“You wrote that?” She asked, still amazed.

“Yeah,” Taylor smiled. “For you.”

“For me?” she asked, astonished. She remembered the lyrics, and stared at Taylor. “Gosh, I’m sorry about the way I acted earlier. I didn’t have any reason to ignore you.”

“Well I understand that I hurt you.”

“I don’t know, Taylor. I was kind of hurt. I guess I didn’t really think about the girlfriend part as much as I was upset about that there is stuff going on here and in your life that I miss out on and I’m not a part of. I guess having a girlfriend is a big deal though; if you didn’t want to tell me you didn’t have to.”

They gazed at each other for a few seconds, and then Taylor looked at his hands. “It took me a long time to determine whether or not I should sing you that song...” he said, carefully. “I didn’t know what your response was going to be, because I didn’t know if you felt the same way about me as I do you.” Taylor stopped and laughed. “I don’t even know how I really feel, but I know what I feel for you is pretty amazing. I don’t know if that makes any sense.” He looked at Morgan, and then they drew in for a hug. For the first positive time, Morgan felt connected and close to Taylor in ways she hadn’t before. After they separated, Taylor said,

“I still feel like I betrayed you, somehow.”

“About Aubrey?”


“You shouldn’t. There’s always going to be some stuff we’re going to feel scared, or apprehensive I guess to tell each other.” Morgan said, and gently touched his arm with a few fingers, and let them fall gently off.

“I guess that I didn’t really want to tell you though, which made me feel even worse about it.” Taylor sighed.


“Well obviously because I’m Taylor Hanson. I’m not supposed to or allowed to have girlfriends.” Morgan and Taylor sheared laughs, and he continued. “There was just this odd sensation inside of me that felt weird about telling you, though. I mean, after we all got here it really hit me hard...I couldn’t even fall asleep at night because I missed you so much. It really made me realize how strong our relationship was...is. But at the same time I didn’t think we’d ever be together again, and didn’t think we’d ever be able to move back to Tulsa. So I started trying to make a lot of friends so I wouldn’t have to think about how much I missed you, or how lonely I was from being on the road all of the time. So I could try to move on, even though I knew that isn’t what I wanted. I still wanted you.” Morgan smiled.

“After awhile I met Aubrey at one of our smaller shows here that my dad thought it would be alright to have. When I first met her she immediately reminded me of you.” Taylor looked over at Morgan. “I’m sure you know where I’m headed.” Morgan smiled. “I saw a lot of you in her, which comforted me, even though it made me feel a little worse at the same time. I foolishly asked her out, which I never should have done, and the rest is history. I’m glad she is history. I know it sounds mean, but at first she was just a replacement for you, someone who kind of understood, but then I realized that I didn’t need one. I don’t know why I never realized that. I just kept thinking that I would d never see you again.”

Morgan waited for him to finish and then said, “Wow,” softly.

“Are you mad...insulted?”

“No, no. I understand. I know I would have done the exact same thing.” Morgan said.

Taylor smiled, and they swung their legs over the bed for a few minutes before they spoke. Taylor replayed the song in his head, and reached for Ike’s guitar which he lied on his stomach.

“I can’t believe I played you that song,” he said and absent mindedly strummed the beginning chords.


Taylor rested his elbows on the side of the guitar and rested his face in his hands. “Well you listened to the lyrics... You probably think I’m so obsessed with you now and I’m...I don’t know.” he said, and sat up and stretched. He ten faced Morgan, who was still lying down.

“You underestimate me, Taylor.” she said. “And you sometimes underestimate yourself.”

Taylor sat upright with thought and then sighed. He outstretched his hand to Morgan, who accepted and sat up. They jumped off the bunk beds and Taylor held her hand with a firm grasp, and swung their hands a bit.

“I’m glad you liked it, the song.” Holding her hand felt so natural to him, but he reluctantly let it go and smiled.

“You impress me so much,” she returned his smile and added, “Thank you. Could you make a tape of it for me?”

“What?!” he laughed.

“A copy...I know you can make me one. I’d love to have one.”

“And then you’ll let Jordana, Ryan, Rebecca, Jenna, Scott and Justin and everyone else listen to it and I’ll feel so stupid,” Taylor blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear.

“No I wouldn’t,” Morgan retorted and sat on the bottom bunk. “I’d sell it on the black market for thousands of dollars. I know a lot of your fans would love to hear an unreleased song written by Taylor Hanson.” she smiled.

Taylor walked over to the bunk beds and stood in front of Morgan. “Morgan, I know that is exactly what you would do, let all of them listen to it. Don’t think I still don’t know how you work.”

Morgan stood again, smiling. “Well you obviously don’t know me that well because I would never do that.”

“Oh you wouldn’t, would you?” Taylor began to tease her, and threw his arms around her bare waist and began to tickle her stomach. Morgan gasped and started laughing, and tried desperately to pry Taylor’s hands off of her waist to no prevail. They fumbled onto the bottom bunk as Morgan cried,

“Geez Taylor, quit it!” as he kneeled above her.

Taylor ceased his tickling as Morgan attempted to regain herself, lying on the bed. She moaned as Taylor laughed, and she rolled over, hands to stomach. Taylor replaced her at the pillow as Morgan crawled over him and said,

“I can’t believe you. You know how much that bothers me.”

Taylor smiled, and laughed. “So I guess you’re not going to show it to anyone if I make you a tape now, will you?”

Morgan jumped on the bed and on Taylor and began jabbing his sides and said, “You bet I am going to tell and show everyone once you make it for me so...” Morgan stopped tickling and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that escaped from her loose ponytail. She continued, “So they can see how wonderful and talented by best friend truly is.”

Taylor slowly sat up and Morgan repositioned herself into sitting Indian style. He slowly moved closer to her so that their legs touched. Taylor made eye contact with her and said, “I’m sorry” a few seconds alter, and also acknowledged her previous comment through his stare. Feeling a surge of their relentless emotions and a knot in her stomach, Morgan quickly looked away, but her eyes were drawn back to Taylor’s moments later. She cleared her throat and slowly said,

“I keep thinking about that kiss.” and lowered her gaze as she ran her fingers across Taylor’s fingers and palm, and tangled her fingers in with his. Taylor released his connection with Morgan’s hand, and ran it up her arm, and brushed her face with his delicate touch. He ran his hand back down her arm and he said, faintly,

“Morgan...I didn’t know...when I kissed you...” It seemed he was having a hard time getting out the words. “What was going to happen...”

Morgan removed her hand from Taylor’s and wiped her eyes after several tears formed. “Why is this so hard?” she laughed, embarassed.

Taylor gazed beyond Morgan and then back at her, searching for the answer. His voice replied, shaky, “Maybe we’ve finally fully shared what we’ve felt all along. Or vice versa.” He smiled, nervously. “I don’t know.”

Morgan nodded, and a few seconds later Taylor put his arms around her, and tightly closed his eyes as a tear escaped his own eyes. He slowly began to caress her bare back and hold her. Morgan kept her grasp around Taylor’s neck and brushed her hand through his hair a few times, then lowered her arms loosely around his waist, and stroked his back. Their breathing became in sync with each others, and Taylor slowly released from their long embrace a few moments later. Morgan wiped her eyes and stood, and stretched. She waited for Taylor to stand up and then said,

“I never thought that we would act this way.”

“Neither did I,” he replied.

“I don’t really know where to go from here, though.”

“I don’t either, but we will together.” Taylor replied.

“We better go to bed now before we wake everyone up,” Morgan said as she went over to her suitcase.

“Yeah...” Taylor said, not wanting to let her go, only wanting to hold onto her all night long.

When Morgan reentered the room after putting on her pajamas in the bathroom, she peaked under into the bottom bunk at Taylor, who had fallen fast asleep. Morgan smiled, and whispered,

“Night Taylor.” She quietly climbed the ladder to the top bunk, and in place of Isaac’s guitar that was there moments before was a cassette tape labeled “Morgan’s Song.” Morgan slowly picked it up, smiled, and put it under her pillow and quickly dozed off.

chapter seven