after sutton had gone to the bathroom and brushed her teeth she sluggishly wandered down to her room, no longer trying to stop her tears from forming. she was angry at herself for continually becoming upset after she had had such a wonderful day with taylor, after the emotions they'd shared together and the closeness that had surfaced between them. she coughed as she pushed open her bedroom door and closed it as she rubbed her eyes, exhausted. it wasn’t until she had kicked off her shoes and looked up that she noticed taylor sitting on her bed. “taylor?” she asked, surprised. she clutched the door knob as she looked at him, sitting on her bed with his legs pulled up to his chest. “hey...” he softly said. sutton slowly walked towards him and fell onto her bed and lied next to him on her stomach and buried her face in her comforter. “what are you doing?” she asked. “are you okay?” sutton shook her head. “i don’t know anymore.” she covering her face with her hands. “i can’t stop crying,” she said a moment later as she sniffed. “you were talking to my mom all that time?” taylor asked. sutton nodded, and removed her hands from her face. “about...” his voice trailed off, unsure of what to say. “everything.” sutton removed her hands from her eyes and smiled weakly. she looked around for a kleenex and then sniffed and wiped her eyes with the edge of a pillow case. she lowered her head and lied it in her arms. “everything, it just all came spilling out. she said she was worried about me. and so i had to tell her; i wanted to tell her,” sutton looked up to taylor with red, swollen eyes as he looked down at her, sadly. “taylor, i’m not - i don’t know. I’m not even extremely sad anymore. i’m not. i realized that after i spent all of that time with you today. i’m happy, and i’ve accepted everything that i told you yesterday morning and your mom just now and i miss them...god i miss them...but i just can’t stop crying.” sutton bowed her head and rested her chin on her arms as she sniffed. “and i feel so incredibly selfish, all of the sudden to drop all of this on you, and your mom definitely didn’t know all...that. i feel like i’ve encumbered everyone’s life. the poor girl who’s parents are like one or two thousand miles away and about to get a divorce.” “god sutton, no!” taylor immediately said. “your parents are not going to get a divorce!” he tugged on her shoulder so she would sit up. “come here, sit up,” he said as he faced her. she slowly sat up and leaned against her pillows as taylor looked at her with pleading eyes. a fresh batch of tears escaped sutton’s eyes as she looked at taylor. “hey,” he said, and scooted closer to her. “you are not a burden. sutton, we want you here. we want to help you. we love you sutton. you have become such a part of our family that when you leave its not going to be the same. and not just because you won’t be here. and, and you have to realize that even though your parents aren’t with you... they’re with you. you have to let them go in order to keep loving them. they love you, they know you care about them. you just need to move on, while you’re here. you’re going to be okay.” sutton looked down to her lap and bit her bottom lip. “hey, look at me,” taylor said and delicately lifted her chin with his forefinger. “and its not going to be the same when you leave here, because you have made an impact on everyone here the few short months you’ve lived with us. i mean, mackie adores you. he has never been so attentive and loving towards anyone outside of our family, sometimes not even us. avie and Jessica admire you. they hate being the only girls in a family full of guys and you make them feel special. you treat them like your peer though you’re several years older than both of them, and you always find time to play with them. geez, zac. ike and i get annoyed with him a lot but you don’t. or at least you act like you don’t.” sutton shyly smiled, and taylor continued, “he doesn’t hang out with the girls a whole lot, and he loves hanging out with you, sutt. he has fun with you; he says you’re the only one that understands him sometimes. you’re the only one that knows why he the way he is, he says. there is no doubt that isaac loves you being here. he’s the oldest one; he doesn’t always have people to talk to his own age, seriously. he has opened up a lot to you and he cares so much abut you and your wellbeing. and my parents. god sutt. they cherish the opportunity they have been given to look after you. they love you as they love me and my brothers and my sisters. they wouldn’t do this for just anyone, you know that. i know that they honestly and truly didn’t have to think twice about you coming here. they want you here, and after all these months they need you here, too.” taylor momentarily paused as tears rolled down sutton’s face as she looked at him with a small smile. taylor brought his hand to her face and wiped away her tears. “so please don’t cry, sutt. it makes your pretty violet eyes turn gray. you don’t need to anymore. you belong here right now.” sutton looked down in her lap as she felt her ears turn warm. “and what about you?” she slowly asked as she cleared her throat and looked back into his face. “i...i feel like i’ve found my soul mate in you. my best friend. someone who’s friendship and compassion, kindness and intelligence, humor and strength i admire and treasure. you’re very much of an individualist, but you need love and you need compassion yourself. that’s very obvious, that’s why it hurts you so much to be away from your parents,” taylor quietly said. sutton looked deep into his eyes and smiled. “if that was just a fabrication of everything to make me --” taylor laughed and grabbed her arms. “sutton - no! i mean that. i meant all of that. its true.” sutton quickly added, “-- then that is the sweetest, most genuine compliment anyone has ever given me.” she paused for a moment, and looked into her lap. “your soul mate...” taylor looked away and blushed and then looked back at her. “its all true,” he said modestly. “please don’t cry. i know you love your parents and would do anything for them and you miss them. but you also have ninepeople here that love you and care for you and want to help you feel less indifferent.” sutton smiled for a moment and ran the back of her hand across her cheeks and nodded. “i know. i’m beginning to realize that. i... i don’t want everyone to be shut out of my life, i want everyone to know why I am here and why i want to be here.” taylor agreed. “then maybe you should let them know that.” sutton nodded as her eyes wandered from taylor to the floor and to her lap and back to taylor’s eyes. “i do thank you, for everything.” she softly said and leaned in towards him. she rested her left hand on his upper arm and leaned to give him a soft kiss on his right cheek. as she slowly released a moment later, taylor brought his index finger up to her cheek and gently moved her face in front of his and rested his lips on top of hers as he softly shut his eyes and kissed her. he half heartedly rethought his actions as sutton’s brow creased, knowing she was vulnerable, but also knowing she would have pulled away had it not felt right. taylor let his fingers fall from her cheek and onto her knee as he tasted her salty tears on her lips, and slowly continued to lightly kiss her. he felt her hand rest on his side, clutch his black shirt as he brought his hand back up to her face and slowly brushed away her messy hair out of her eyes. a few seconds later they released; sutton slowly brought her hands back beside her as taylor searched her face for a reaction and smiled, relieved, when he noticed a faint blush on her cheeks, sure that his matched. “sutton...” he softly said as their eyes meet. she smiled, faintly and mumbled through parted lips, “you don’t have to say anything.” she slowly leaned into him again and put her arms around his waist in an embrace. taylor brought his arms around her and sighed, knowing he and sutton had a wonderful special connection that had continually brought them closer and would continue to keep them together and bonded. he slowly closed his eyes as she softly said, “thank you for everything, taylor.” he smiled, and gently rubbed her back, then pecked her forehead when she pulled away and silently went to his room. twenty nine